Blue Jay - J22 170

Boat Name: Blue Jay

Sail Number: 170

Sponsors: TBC

Recognisable by: Numerous and Varied Skipper Recoveries, Celestial Visions, Rowdy Partying and Highly Vocal Drunkeness

Crew Members:

Graham Baker, Skipper:

Graham is one of the leading J22 sailors in South Africa and the local Chairman of the J22 Association. Despite this, he is rapidly gaining a reputation for falling off his boat at inopportune moments. An example of this can be seen on the right. Having established the fact that walking on water is rather more difficult than he thought, Graham is now looking at doing the fishes and loaves thing to cover catering for the World Championships. Other competitors are more interested in the water to wine trick that is in the preliminary stages of development.

Ronnie Gurnell, Midships:
Ronnie is the elder statesman of the South African J22 fleet but still seems able to keep up with the "youngsters" (those of us under 70). Despite his advancing years, Ronnie regularly holds court in various yacht club bars across the country. Inevitably, this often means he's not always in mint condition when the racing starts but with his skipper's habit of going over the side, the team often have a weight advantage that negates his hangover. That and the fact that laughter is a guaranteed cure for any form of ailment.

Nevan Lucas, Foredeck:

Often seen in various forms of undress, Nevan has the unenviable task of trying to remain on the foredeck when his skipper takes a sudden leave of absence and Blue Jay spirals out of control. It takes Russian gymnasts years to achieve Nevan's levels of balance but they don't have to cope with a surface that is constantly moving while having buckets of water chucked at them. Or some argumentative old geezer chuntering constantly.

Davidoff Cool Water - J22 772

Boat Name: Davidoff Cool Water

Sail Number: 772
Bow Number: 29
Sponsors: Davidoff Cool Water

Recognisable by: Loud Arguments at the Start, Dubious Protesting, Occassional Forgetfulness

Crew Members:
Sir David Scorey, KCB, DSO and Bar, Skipper:
Sir David started sailing in South Africa shortly after the First World War. With his accumulated 90 plus years of experience, he is recognised as one of the trickiest sailors in the fleet. Pictured right in his younger days, Sir David is constantly baffled by the emergence of new technology, stating that a sextant and a good sense of smell is all a chap needs for successful navigation. He's also deeply suspicious of anything new-fangled he sees on the visiotube (television) or anyone that uses such things. "It's just not cricket," is a constant refrain, despite being on a boat and making that fact blindingly obvious.

Vanessa Henry, Midships:
In complete contrast to her frankly barking mad skipper, Vanessa is a veritable haven of tranquility on board Davidoff. Not afraid to give Sir David a verbal kicking when needed, boats sailing in close formation with are well advised to bring ear plugs should the conditions get tetchy. On shore, Vanessa is well known for doing anything (within reason) for a large glass of Chardonnay.

Sharin Richmond, Foredeck:
If you look up the definition of "nice" in the dictionary, there is very likely to be a picture of Sharin. Often seen hugging anyone that will let her, Sharin does however occassionally get punchy. This is normally as a result of Sir David's blunderbuss humour and sledgehammer wit but order can usually be resumed with the liberal administration of white wine.

Windgat - J22 185

Boat Name: Windgat

Sail Number: 185

Bow Number: 14

Sponsors: RSA Security, Tipping Point, AdaptiveMobile

Recognisable by: Spectacular Broaching, Colourful Language, Occassional Nakedness

Crew Members:

Steve Thysse, Skipper:

Steve is the oldest, hairest and loudest member of the Windgat crew. Easily recognisable by his lovely flowing locks, constant fug of fag smoke and passion for swearing, Steve is reknowned for his optimistic approach to mark rounding and spinnaker drops. Of indeterminate age, Steve lists his hobbies as ****ing drinking, ****ing fighting, ****ing smoking and ****ing.

Rob Watson, Midships:

Rob is the token Brit on Windgat. Recognisable but the constantly dazzling reflection from his unprotected, follicly-challenged head, Rob is usually the target of Steve's choicer comments during a regatta. Rob is also known for his complete lack of balance, meaning that midships is the logical place for him. As the only non-Afrikaans speaking member of the crew, Rob gets paranoid when conversations on board are conducted without him understanding what's being said. This is probably with good reason.

BJ Smit, Foredeck:
BJ is the baby of the crew at 17. Known for his passion for hair gel, staying up late and rapidly increasing height, BJ only started sailing in February. Targeted by Steve as something of a protege, BJ is led astray on a regular basis by the skipper, normally in the pursuit of female sailors and various other forms of trouble. BJ is neither Steve nor Rob's son. He's also certainly not Steve's younger brother, whatever people are told.